Today

 I have had my heart broken many times. Had a bad break up several times. What I knew is I can always bounce back. But with this break up, I feel like time is stopping. The days went by but I am still standing at the same spot since then. 

It took me more than a year to finally come to a realization that, yes, it is true. I have been living in the past time. I have been living in the memories. The memories of us still being together, of our happy times. I keep rewinding it until I believe that it is still happening. 

While the he now might be not the same person I was once with. The he now is the one who is not love me like before. The he now is already living in the present time. While the me is still living in the past time. 

I used to have this mantra to keep me sane: what's mine will be mine. My new mantra is: live in today. 

Now I understand the saying "If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present". 

Alhamdulillah, I feel a lot better.